[8] I wish I can say goodbye
There were a few moments in my life that I couldn't find closure on and ended up dwelling on for years. I wish I could say goodbye and close the chapter. But that's not me, nor am I ready to end it. There's infatuation that lasted for too long, from a man that didn't even talk to me. There's a moment of silence between me and my old friends after we talked about the time we lived together. I was away from home for 5 years, and I never once forgot about it. I guess I love being away, far away from home, knowing I have a place to go back to but not necessarily live in. Things happened in life, and I was forced to stay, closing the 5-year chapter shut and never going back there again.
I missed the time when I was reckless with my emotions and let it destroy me—I wrote a lot of poetry because of it. I missed the time when I felt so deep; it dried up my blood, breeding butterflies in my stomach. I missed that moment when I'm too scared to speak, but I confessed anyway. I guess I missed those moments, but the peace has come after the storms; flowers bloom instead of butterflies—I feel better despite missing it. I wish I could say goodbye to those butterflies, the rush, the madness I thought was normal. Five years passed, and I accepted that wasn't normal. That was not love.
love is feeling at peace,
reesa