aesthetics prison
Hello,
I have talked about my bedroom briefly here and there. It's the only space I feel comfortable to stay in for a long time. I don't like sharing my personal space that much. Even when I was a kid, I grew quite territorial of my room. I can't sleep with strong lights. My room will be pitch black at night.
I bought a radio set for my room. The one with AM/FM channel, usb connector, bluetooth and cd player. All rounded analog devices. Occasionally, I will listen to some cd or spotify. I switch on my low light, read a book, have a chocolate drink and listen to Julie London.
I am still living in the lens of an invisible photographer. It's the kind of a ritual created by the aesthetics I have consumed for years during my blue light addiction, except no one knows or sees those pictures. I don't even have to write about it, but the perk of being too self-aware is I second guess my behavior and try to intellectualize it. No, it's not that deep. The ritual makes me feel safe. The setting I have established fulfils my 5 senses. That's it. After dilly dally and mental gymnastics, I defend my decision against my own judgement. I want to be the same person in front or behind the lenses.
aesthetics prison,
reesa